There is nothing like leaving on a cruise to have a great time in the warm tropical weather with your friends and family. It is a wonderful experience, as the sun begins to set on that first evening, a beautiful sight to behold! Suddenly, you feel a strange emptiness and you realize that the only lift which might restore your feeling of weakness could be a bit of alcohol to level out that blood sugar level.
Since you are a bit woozy you simply want to sit out on your tiny balcony and share that drink in an intimate setting, with your special someone. You open the little mini bar and BAM! No it is not Emerill cooking something special, but rather a tiny bottle, we refer to where we are from, as a “thimble” of liquor, with a price tag of a whopping seven bucks.
Now we realize why they call it carnival, because everything is an illusion…you are now an escape artist, wishing you had been sneaking booze on a cruise in order to be free from the humility of being “scalped” while still alive.
The “bam” we heard previously, was the sound from a smack on the head, by those invisible “booze-fairies” who manage to stun you just enough to cloud your memory, while they rack up several hundreds of dollars in alcohol costs on your cruise.
Those selfish sippers catch the buzz and you get the headache and the huge bill, days later when hearing those loathsome words, welcome ashore! They are literally hiding all over the ship, guzzling high priced gin, vodka, rum ,and tequila, the list grows longer as their victims pile up faster than the line at the dinner buffets. “We should have been sneaking booze on a cruise instead of packing those three extra pairs of shorts” you think to yourself, as you try to find your land legs along with your behind, which you lost on bourbon and other liquid souvenirs.
It happened to us once, but it never happened again. Realizing that “power is knowledge” and sneakiness is the mother of necessity, we did our homework. We found flasks by a name which is not only appropriate, but very easy to remember, “Rum runner.” These are not just your average “run of the mill” storage containers, these beauties had the word “stealth” in mind, when they were giving birth to that invention.
We found them online and ordered the 32 ounce versions. They also come in 16 and 8 ounce sizes for those smugglers who are “bravery challenged.” Since sneaking booze on a cruise is not a federal crime, and basically nothing more than “frowned upon”, by the same price-gouging pirates, who are eager to capture every coin they can; those of us with a bit of thirst, must stand our ground, proudly, against tyranny.
The flasks have great lids which do not leak. We simply lay a couple of them flat inside our larger suitcases and mix them in with the clothes. They fly right by the x-ray machines and are made of a strong, yet deceptively flexible plastic which looks as if it belongs in our suitcases. We arrive in our cabin as satisfied smugglers and celebrate with an immediate toast.
Don’t be another victim, of those who are unnecessarily thirsty at sea, join us for a drink, from our flasks of freedom.…